Parshat Beshalach recounts the sudden and ruthless attack of Amalek upon Bnei Yisrael as they journeyed through the desert. The nation had just emerged from the miracles of the Exodus, witnessed the sea split before them, and tasted the sweetness of heavenly sustenance—yet Amalek struck at their weakest moment.
“And Amalek came and fought with Israel in Rephidim.” (Shemot 17:8)
This confrontation was not merely a historical battle; it was, and remains, a timeless struggle. Chazal teach that Amalek is more than just a physical enemy—it is the force of doubt and despair that seeps into the cracks of our faith. It is the whisper that gnaws at the soul: “Are you really strong enough to keep going?” “Where is Hashem now?” Amalek thrives in the moments of exhaustion, when resilience falters and hope feels distant. It is the voice that seeks to dismantle faith, paralyze progress, and obscure the light that flickers even in the darkest night.
For parents of struggling teens, Amalek is not an abstract idea—it is deeply personal. It is the relentless exhaustion of trying everything and seeing little change. It is the silent ache of watching a beloved child in pain, feeling helpless, wondering if you are failing them. It is the self-doubt that creeps in late at night: “Am I doing enough? Am I enough?” It is the battle against despair, the fight to hold on to faith when the journey ahead feels uncertain.
Yet, just as the Torah provides a strategy for confronting Amalek, it also offers a blueprint for parents navigating these challenges. The battle is not fought alone. Moshe stands with hands uplifted—reminding us that strength is drawn from connection, from faith, from unwavering support. The key to overcoming Amalek is persistence, unwavering belief, and the knowledge that even when the road is long, victory is promised to those who refuse to surrender.
For parents in the trenches of struggle, the message is clear: Amalek does not win unless we let go. Even in moments of exhaustion, even when progress is slow, there is hope. There is always a path forward. With faith, perseverance, and love, the battle is never fought in vain.
Amalek as the Force of Doubt and Coldness
The Ba’al HaTurim (Shemot 17:8) points out that the gematria (numerical value) of Amalek (עמלק) is 240, which is the same as safek (ספק), meaning doubt. This numerical connection reveals Amalek’s true nature—not merely a physical adversary, but a corrosive force that seeps into the mind and heart, eroding certainty, faith, and self-worth.
Rashi (Shemot 17:8) comments that Amalek’s attack occurred “בִּדֶרֶךְ מַקְרֶּה”—as if by chance. This is a profound insight into Amalek’s ideology: to deny Divine Providence, to make life feel random and disconnected, and to create the illusion that struggles have no meaning. The Midrash (Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 9) describes Amalek as one who cools the spiritual fervor of the Jewish people, comparing him to a reckless person who jumps into a scalding bath, lowering its temperature for everyone else. Amalek’s attack is not just physical, it is psychological and spiritual, seeking to extinguish passion for growth and weaken faith in redemption.
But doubt doesn’t announce itself with a shout; it creeps in as a whisper. It is the voice that says: “Nothing will ever change.” “Your efforts are pointless.” “You are beyond hope.”
For parents of struggling teens, Amalek takes a deeply personal form. It is the exhaustion of trying everything and seeing little progress. It is the self-doubt that keeps them up at night: “Am I failing my child?” “Is there anything left to do?” The Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches that Amalek represents cold cynicism, the force that distances a person from Hashem, from themselves, and from hope. A teen struggling with depression, addiction, or personal failure may feel that their hardships are meaningless. Similarly, a parent who has exhausted every effort may feel paralyzed, wondering if they are capable of guiding their child to a better place.
Yet, Amalek’s greatest deception is making us believe that despair is absolute. The antidote is found in the Torah’s teachings—faith in Hashem’s plan, belief in the power of transformation, and the recognition that no one is ever truly lost. The Rambam (Hilchot Teshuvah 7:7) writes that no matter how far a person has fallen, the path to redemption is always open. Parents must internalize this truth and model it for their children: that setbacks are not failures, that growth happens in small steps, and that no struggle is without meaning.
But recognizing Amalek’s voice is only the first step. The Torah warns us that Amalek attacks the vulnerable—those who feel weak, weary, and alone. How can parents protect themselves and their children when exhaustion sets in?
Practical Strategies for Parents to Combat Doubt
Doubt is one of the most insidious weapons of Amalek. It does not announce itself loudly; instead, it seeps in quietly, making parents of struggling teens question their own efforts and effectiveness. The first step in countering doubt is recognizing its source. When thoughts of failure and hopelessness arise—"I am failing my child," or "There is nothing left to do"—parents must pause and identify these thoughts for what they truly are: the whispers of Amalek. Just as Amalek sought to weaken Bnei Yisrael by attacking them in moments of exhaustion, so too does doubt strike hardest when parents feel drained and weary. By labeling these self-defeating thoughts as external influences rather than intrinsic truths, parents can begin to take back control over their mindset.
Yet, merely recognizing Amalek’s voice is not enough; it must be countered with action. Even in the face of overwhelming struggles, small, concrete steps have the power to dissolve the illusion that change is impossible. Instead of becoming paralyzed by the enormity of their child’s challenges, parents can focus on one meaningful step each day. A shared meal, a heartfelt conversation, or even a simple moment of connection—each of these actions, however small, is a victory against the despair that Amalek seeks to instill. These incremental efforts, while seemingly minor, collectively reinforce a powerful truth: change happens gradually, and every step forward matters.
Another powerful tool in the battle against doubt is strengthening emunah by remembering past victories. Amalek thrives on forgetfulness, making it easy to overlook the resilience that has already been demonstrated. Keeping a gratitude journal or a record of past struggles that have been overcome serves as a tangible reminder that growth is always possible. Parents who take the time to reflect on previous hardships—whether personal or within the family—gain the perspective that difficulties, no matter how immense they seem in the moment, are never insurmountable. By reinforcing the truth that Hashem has guided them through past challenges, parents can find renewed strength to continue moving forward.
Finally, combating Amalek requires rekindling warmth, both in the home and within oneself. Amalek is associated with emotional and spiritual coldness, a force that distances individuals from Hashem and from meaningful relationships. When a teen struggles with depression, anxiety, or self-doubt, they often withdraw, creating further isolation. Parents, too, may retreat emotionally out of exhaustion or fear of failure. Yet warmth—both emotional and spiritual—can shatter this cycle. Finding ways to foster connection, whether through davening together, engaging in acts of kindness, or simply creating a supportive and nonjudgmental space, can help replace doubt with hope. Community support is also essential. Parents do not need to fight Amalek alone; seeking guidance from mentors, therapists, or support groups can provide the necessary reinforcement to keep going.
In erasing Amalek’s memory, the Torah is not simply referring to a historical battle, but to an ongoing struggle against the forces of doubt, despair, and cynicism. Parents must actively work to erase the self-defeating narratives that Amalek implants, replacing them with faith, perseverance, and unwavering belief in their child’s ability to heal. Amalek only wins if we allow ourselves to forget that every struggle has meaning, that change is always possible, and that hope is never lost.
Amalek Attacks the Weary and the Weak
The Torah warns us about Amalek’s strategy:
“…who met you on the way and struck the stragglers at the rear, when you were faint and weary, and he did not fear G-d.” (Devarim 25:18)
Amalek does not engage in open confrontation; instead, he lurks in the shadows, striking those who are vulnerable and isolated. Chazal explain that Amalek specifically targeted the stragglers—those who had lost strength, fallen behind, and were no longer able to keep pace with the rest of Bnei Yisrael. The attack was not just physical but psychological, instilling fear, helplessness, and the belief that survival was impossible.
The same strategy is at play today. Amalek preys on exhaustion—not just physical fatigue but emotional and spiritual weariness. This is the voice that attacks in a teen’s lowest moments, whispering that their struggles define them: “You will never be free from your pain.” “No one understands you.” “You are beyond help.”
For a teen battling mental illness, addiction, or self-doubt, these voices become deafening in moments of isolation. Doubt is rarely loud; instead, it seeps in gradually, making hope feel distant and meaningless. And just as Amalek strikes not only individuals but entire communities, parents too are vulnerable to these attacks. After years of relentless struggle—navigating therapists, school crises, and emotional outbursts—it is easy for parents to feel depleted, hopeless, and uncertain of their ability to keep going. They, too, may hear Amalek’s voice whispering: “You have tried everything, and nothing has worked.” “You are failing your child.” “There is no path forward.”
But the Torah does not leave us defenseless. The Sfas Emes teaches that Amalek’s greatest weapon is coldness—the kind that numbs a person to their own worth, distances them from Hashem, and makes them indifferent to growth. And if Amalek thrives in coldness, the antidote must be warmth.
Warmth is not just an emotion; it is an action. It is the voice of encouragement when doubt creeps in. It is the gentle reminder that no struggle is absolute. It is the small acts of connection—a parent sitting beside their teen in silence, a reassuring hand on the shoulder, an effort to see past the struggle and recognize the person beneath it. It is rekindling spiritual inspiration, finding community support, and refusing to allow despair to take root.
Defeating Amalek means fighting the urge to withdraw into numbness. It means reminding ourselves and our children that even in the most vulnerable moments, they are not alone. That no matter how weary we become, Amalek does not get the final word—hope does.
But the Torah also provides a powerful strategy for overcoming Amalek—not just in battle, but in the daily struggles of faith and resilience. What lessons can we learn from Moshe and Yehoshua's approach to fighting Amalek?
Moshe on the Mountain, Yehoshua in the Battlefield: A Dual Approach
The war against Amalek was fought on two distinct fronts. Moshe stood atop the mountain, his hands lifted toward heaven in prayer, while Yehoshua waged battle on the ground. This dual approach underscores a fundamental truth about overcoming spiritual and emotional challenges: faith and action must work together.
Rav Chaim Shmulevitz (Sichos Mussar) teaches that every struggle requires this balance. Prayer alone is insufficient if not accompanied by tangible steps toward resolution, and effort without faith leads to burnout and despair. The Ramban (Shemot 17:9) explains that Moshe’s uplifted hands represented more than just leadership; they symbolized an unbreakable connection between human effort and divine assistance.
For parents of at-risk teens, this balance is everything. There are times when a parent must be like Moshe, stepping back, praying, and trusting that Hashem is guiding the process. And there are times when they must be like Yehoshua, entering the battlefield, taking decisive action, and doing everything possible to help their child.
Yet many parents struggle with this tension. Some become paralyzed by faith, waiting for a miracle while ignoring real-world interventions. Others exhaust themselves with endless effort, relying only on therapists, doctors, and school interventions while neglecting the spiritual dimension of the journey. True success comes from blending both approaches.
How can parents apply this balance in their daily struggles?
When to be Moshe: If a child is resistant to help, a parent may need to temporarily step back—daven, reflect, and seek clarity instead of forcing solutions.
When to be Yehoshua: When practical help is needed—whether therapy, school support, or setting healthy boundaries—a parent must take action, knowing that Hashem works through human effort.
Combining the two: A parent might pray for guidance while actively researching resources. Or they may seek advice from a Rav or mentor while simultaneously adjusting their parenting approach.
The Maharal (Gevuros Hashem 30) teaches that true success lies in the fusion of both forces. Just as Yehoshua could not win the battle without Moshe’s prayers, parents cannot rely solely on either intervention or tefillah. Hashem helps those who take steps forward while trusting in Him.
Yet, the battle against Amalek does not end with one victory. The Torah tells us that the war against Amalek is eternal. What does this mean for parents struggling with doubt and despair?
The Eternal War Against Amalek—A Lifelong Battle
Hashem declares:
“I will utterly erase the memory of Amalek from under heaven… Hashem will have war with Amalek from generation to generation.” (Shemot 17:14-16)
The Chasam Sofer (Toras Moshe) explains that Hashem’s war with Amalek is not just physical but spiritual and psychological—an ongoing battle against despair, against the loss of faith in Hashem, in oneself, and in the future.
For parents of struggling teens, this means that Amalek does not disappear after one victory. Self-doubt and hopelessness do not vanish overnight. The struggle against negative thoughts, against exhaustion, against the fear of failure—these are lifelong battles.
But Amalek’s primary strategy is forgetting. It convinces parents that past victories do not matter, that progress is temporary, that hope is foolish. A parent who has seen their child improve may still panic when new challenges arise, forgetting the resilience they have already built. A teen who has overcome hardship may still feel like a failure when they stumble, forgetting the progress they’ve already made.
How Do We “Remember” and Fight Amalek?
Remind your child of past victories. When they feel lost, remind them: "You have overcome so much before. You are stronger than you think."
Keep a written record of progress. Whether in a journal or even simple notes, track the small wins—so when Amalek whispers doubt, you have proof of resilience.
Establish rituals of remembrance. Just as we have Parshat Zachor to remember Amalek, create family moments that reinforce faith and growth—whether through Shabbat discussions, personal reflections, or meaningful conversations.
The battle against Amalek is not won in a single moment. But every step forward, every reminder of strength, every act of faith—these are victories that weaken Amalek’s hold.
The war against Amalek is not won in a single moment. But every step forward, every reminder of strength, every act of faith—these are victories that weaken Amalek’s hold. How can parents continue to fight this battle, one step at a time?
Conclusion: Winning the War Against Doubt
The battle against Amalek is ongoing, but it is not one we fight alone. Every act of faith, every decision to persevere, and every refusal to succumb to despair is a triumph over Amalek’s influence. As the Chafetz Chaim teaches, spiritual endurance is built one step at a time, and even the smallest victory is meaningful in Hashem’s eyes.
Parents navigating the difficult path of raising struggling teens must remember that Hashem is always present, guiding them through each challenge. The Rambam (Moreh Nevuchim 3:51) reminds us that Hashem’s hashgacha (divine providence) is strongest for those who seek closeness to Him, even in the midst of hardship.
Through emunah, emotional support, practical interventions, and unwavering love, parents can guide their teens through their struggles and emerge victorious. The war against doubt and despair is long, but it is not insurmountable. Hashem fights alongside those who refuse to give up. Every moment of resilience, every tear shed in prayer, and every small step toward healing is another blow to Amalek’s legacy. As you finish reading this, take a moment to choose one action—one small way to counter Amalek’s voice today. Every step forward is another victory in the battle against doubt.
Have a Wonderful Shabbos!!!
Yaakov Lazar, Executive Director, Kol Haneshamot
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